I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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