So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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