Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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