I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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