Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
