Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I just sharted jello shots
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