If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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