Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just blew my weed a kiss
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
