I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
