He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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