I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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