So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
