...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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