Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
