Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
