Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
