Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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