Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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