someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
