roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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