Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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