just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals