I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.