The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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