i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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