Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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