Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
