Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".