What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
