Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
