It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
