Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
