Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
