you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
