I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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