I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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