Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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