if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
