uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
