Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Help. Why am I so naked?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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