i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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