he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
