You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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