the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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