he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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