I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So much rum. So many feels.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
