I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
