just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
