butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
