I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
