Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
