What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
