What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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