Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
