You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So here I am, sexting at work.
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