if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
