I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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