Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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