..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
