I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
