Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
