what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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