i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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