Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She tied me up with her honor cords...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor