You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize