You're so nebulous sometimes
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.