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omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
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