But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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