Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
