Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
